On a personal note... I'm not gay, but I'm gonna convert to gayferism ...cus I'm poor n shit.  Lindsay Hohan has allegedly been offered $1 million dollars from Ok Magazine to exclusively cum out of the closet and admit that she's a carpet munching hoe with them.

        Hohan's reps confirmed the offer from Ok, but also said that they have turned it down.  Which means that In Touch Mag is probably offering them $2 million and a lifetime supply of Mrs. Butterworth's kinky lesbo syrup.  

        You know White Oprah is begging Hohan to come out on her reality show, Living Lesbian.... greedy money whore that she is.

 

        Well Sarah Jessica Donkey would and did.  Mr. Ed Parker wore the same dress to the NYC premiere of Sex And The City as Hohan wore months before to a Harper's Bazaar shoot. 

        The Nina Ricci drag queen special was also worn by Lauren Davis.  Man, I guess every one goes tranny atleast once in their life. 

        Parker told the New York Times:

“In the big picture, this is not important, but there is a relationship between the entertainment industry and fashion. We’ve watched sales dwindle and we’ve watched people be less inclined to spend money on clothes. Look, my affection for the dress hasn’t changed, but what they did was so short-sighted. It’s just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again.”. 

        Unethical??? This bitch is just mad that they didn't let her wear the ACTUAL cum stained dress Hohan wore...like Parker Pony asked for. 

 

        Hohan's big guest appearance on the Golden Globe winning drama Ugly Betty was a complete ratings nightmare.  The show's season finale dropped 16.2 % from last years season finale.  Stupid talentless twat. 

        Producers of the show have signed Hohan on to make several more guest appearances in the upcoming season.  They should sign on Hohan's whore of a mother and lil sis to reach the sexually deprived perverts in prison demographic.

        Look on the bright side guys... Atleast they didn't give Hohan her own spin-off to Ugly Betty.... Like Cranky Skank or something.

 

        Pull up a seat, it's another battle of the gay.  This time featuring newly 1/2 way out of the closet lesbo Lindsay Hohan and Perez Hilton  (a.k.a - Mario Lavandeira).  Hohan is mad that Perez sued her future wife..err..husband and is now talking shit about her.  Lesbos gotta stick together you know.

        OMG!  Did she call Perez' show stupid and comes on once a year???

        HEY !!!  That shit comes on TWICE a year thank you very much.  He's coming out with his own Osh Kosh Bgosh clothing line for Flaming Goth squirrel monkeys.   And he's auditioning for Queer Eye for the Fat Retarded Latino guy...... so you'll be sorry Hohan!

 

       

        Happy Memorial day ya'll.  And in honor of memories Lindsay Hohan wants you to remember the good old days when she was a heterosexual snatch flasher.

        Fire Crotch's agent still denies that Hohan is a Lesbo. When asked about Lindsay's relationship with Sammy Ronson, her rep said, "They are close friends."  I mean what do you expect the bitch to say???...."Uuuuummmmm they are beaver eatin whores starved for attention cus their mamma's drank too much and beat on their daddies. 

        Actually eating Hohan's pootang is a lot like stepping into a hill of fire ants.  You don't know what you've gotten yourself into until it burns and then you run, scream and wash yourself off with a hose.        

 

  

"They’re best friends. They’re just friends. It’s pathetic what people say."  

        That's what Dina Lohan said about her daughter earlier this week in response to accusations that her baby is a lesbo.

        Above is a pic of Lindsay and Samantha Ronson sucking face in France.  With friends like that who needs lesbians.

        Didn't White Oprah just win a "Mother of the Year" award?  Nice....They should scratch out "mother" and replace it with "JACK ASS". 

 

        Hohan's family is furious that people are labeling Lindsay as a lesbian.  Talentless, crotch-flashing, alcoholic crack head...maybe, but lesbian....never.

       In an interview yesterday with Extra to promote their new reality crap, Dina Lohan said, "Samantha's an amazing girl," while Ali adds, "They're best friends. They're just friends. It's pathetic what people say."

       Dina added, "It's so silly. We actually laugh about it now. It really does hurt... but you develop a thick skin.

       You know who else develops thick skins???  Butch dikes.  God bless em.

 

        Everybody's favorite Fire Crotch (seen above at a friend's party this weekend) is going to present an award at this years MTV movie awards.  Hey it's a start.

        After a slew of god awful movies and being fired from a couple jobs she'll take anything she can get.  We've offered Hohan a part doing an infomercial for spray-on pubic hair, but no response yet.

        Other presenters for the award show include Robert Downey Jr., Mark Wahlberg, Jack Black, Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway. 

 

       Hohan the thespian and Samantha Ronson the lesbian were out after their fisticuffs this weekend.  Ronson was sporting a large Hohan hickey.  Now we think she just got bit by a rabid squirrel but our sources tell us it is in fact a hickey.