Reggie Bush may have had torn ligaments, broken bones and dislocated limbs, but that shit doesn't hold a candle to Kim Kardashian's (32) big toe. 

        "I'm wearing a heel right now and it felt okay as I was walking up," she said. "It's sorta like I wanna hold it really tight in there.  So that's what I'm doing right now.  But I'm gonna go home, take it off, and not finish my night because it hurts too bad."

         Boo Hoo.... someone call FEMA. 

        After slicing her foot in two, Kim Kardassian (27) somehow has found the strength to still go on Shameless Self Promotion with the Stars.

        An insider to the show reports that LargeAssian has been nothing but a total bitch.  "She was demanding special treatment and even insisting on veto power over her which ballroom professional would become dance partner". 

        Her humungous ass is gonna need two partners.  One for each cheek. 

        Kim has been ”a bit too pushy and inquisitive.” “We’re beginning to wonder if she’s worth it!” says the insider.  Of course she's worth it!  Her fat ass will do the Rumba and President Bush will interrupt the show to declare California in a state of emergency....come on, that's just good TV.

        Hungry hungry hippo reality star, Kim Kardashian (27) had to jump in and out of the water 32 times before she got a decent picture and would let the pappos leave for lunch.  One bystander at the beach said he hadn't seen that much blubber come out of the water since Sea World put up its "please don't feed the whales" sign.

        LardAssian is vacationing in Mexico.  She wanted to get back to her ancestor's roots... at the very first Taco Bell. 

        While most celebrities kill themselves in the gym to stay in shape, Kim Kardashian (28) goes on the fatkins diet by stuffing her blubber butt with ice cream Tuesday thru Sunday and then going to the lipo clinic on Mondays.

        Everyone knows she's a lard skank, but the mystery is how she got Reggie Bush to go out with her hungry hungry hippo ass.  He's a professional athlete and she's a poster child for inbred obesity.  I guess opposites attract... Either that or he carry's a Krispy Kreme doughnut in his back pocket.

        Kim Kardashian (27) attended the 40 birthday celebration of the McDonalds Big Mac.  Woo hoo she's hit the big time now folks.  I wonder if Brad and Angelina were right behind her?

        Kim joined her sisters at the prestigious event, but not before she exhumed the grave of Steve Irwin's great grandmammy and stole her clothes.

        McDonalds figures that they owe her a little publicity since her huge lard ass is a walking Big Mac promotion in and of itself.  Insiders tell us that Kardashian's hoping McyD's will name their next burger after her... The Big Skank.

        Just days after her sister Khloe was released from jail, Kim  Kardashian (27) has signed up to be the next celebrity retard to be Dancing With The Stars.

        They should partner Kim with Richard Simmons and play 'Sweatin To The Oldies' music every time she dances to take some of the fat off of her.

        Her huge cottage cheese ass is gonna need two partners.  One for each cheek.           

        As we told you before, Khloe Kardashian (20) was hauled off to the pound jail, for violating her probation on a prior DUI.

        Well here's the bowser's mug shot.   According to her booking sheet she is 5'10" and 145 lbs.  (Fuck I just spit up my Red Bull)  YEAH RIGHT...This bitche's left ass cheek might be 145 lbs... if she skipped breakfast.

        They probably meant her weight was 145 cement bricks.  That's how they do shit in jail.

UPDATE:  Kardsquishybuns has already been released from jail.  She spent a whoppin 3 hours there.  She probably ordered some fried chicken and played tetris.