ELLEN ANNOUNCED WEDDING

 

 

        Man lesbians move fast.  The state of California announced yesterday that gay marriages shall now be all the legal rave, and now Ellen Degenerate (50) and Porsche Cheyenne (35) are headed to the alter in their Big Fat Gay Wedding.

        Apparently Ellen announced the news during the taping of her show yesterday with Porsche in the audience.  The crowd screamed and clapped in joyous glee as the couple held hands and skipped around the set. (I might be joking about that last part) 

        The announcement will air today.  We'llbe on the edge of our seats with party hats on. 

 

        We love Ellen Degenerate (50)... She's one funny ass homo, but she aint the sharpest lesbo in the shed.  The multi-million dollar talk show host is tying the dick knot with out-of-work actress and long time wrinkled labia licker Portia de Rossi (35) today in Los Angeles.

        There's only 1 problem though... DeRossi's NOTTTT GAYYY!!  She's had sex with a shit load of guys and has even been married to a dude before.  She's more like a horny puppy that humps everything including the geriatric cat that's just trying to die in a corner peacefully.

        Have you ever heard the expression "If it aint broke, don't fix it" or "Know when to leave well enough alone"???  Well this dumb bitch apparently hasn't.  The only thing keeping Portia's hot flat-chested skanky ass with Ellen was "the fear".  The fear of being old and broke.  Well fear not... I guarantee it doesn't matter what the lesbo priestess says at the ceremony... all DeRossi will be hearing is Cha Ching!

 

        First off I have to say that Ellen is one funny ass bitch.  I only make fun of her because it's so easy to do. 

        Just like the voices in our heads told us, Ellen Degenerate (50) was married this weekend to Portia De Horsey at Ellen's $29 million home in Beverly Hills.  There were around 30 guests. 

        $29 million dollar home and only 30 guests??? Where was the ceremony... In the bathroom?  Man, who knew lesbians were such cheap whores?

        Congratulations to Ellen though.  We wish you many months of happiness.  By the way... Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard called... He wants his suit back.