Chris  Kattan, (37) yes that loser from Saturday Night Live, has just set a new Olympic World Record.  Kattan got married and divorced in just 8 weeks.    

         The SNL actor married model, Sunshine Tutt (yes that is her real name, even our twisted minds couldn't make up a name that stupid) after dating her for 3 years.  How nasty and unliveable do you have to be to fuck up a marriage in just 8 weeks?  That takes skill.  I've had relationships with cartons of milk that lasted longer.

         That's a little bit sad.  At 37 he can't get his marriage going, probably because he can't get his penis going, and everyone knows he can't get his career going.  I'd tell him to just kill himself and get it over with, but I don't know if he could get the gun going.

        Hey, at least he found something to do between football seasons.

 

        Morgan Freeman's (71) wife of 24 years, Myrna, is filing for divorce after speculations arose about Freeman cheating.

        Freeman is recovering after being involved in a car accident where his vehicle overturned onto the side of the road.  Also in the car was a female passenger later found to be Myrna's best friend. *DUNT DUNT DUNNNNN*

        Aint karma a bitch?!.

 

                                  

        New York Yankee's Alex Rodriguez's (32) wife Cynthia won't be playing with his bat and balls anymore.  That's right, the highly celebrated sports couple are getting a divorce after just 5 years of marital piss bliss. 

        The New York Post reports that Cynthia has been playing for another team.  While all this talk about a possible affair between Rodriguez and Madonna was going on it turns out that Superfreak Lenny Kravitz was sticking his A-rod into Cynthias A-hole.   The unlikely couple are shacking it up in France.

        No word yet as to who's getting the couple's 2 little kids, but we're guessing A-rod's done with

AMERICAN WOMAN!.....STAY AWAY FROM MEEEE!

 

        Bill Murray's wife is divorcing his ass.  Jennifer Murray says the divorce is based on 10 years of Bills constant and repeated physical and verbal abuse, alcoholism, adultery,  drug addiction and abandonment.  

        Is that all???  Pfft...come on lady you can work that shit out.  Atleast he puts the toilet seat down after he pees. 

        The couple have an iron-dick pre-nup so she won't be getting Bill's loot.  Which only reconfirms her accusations and makes him look more like an ass hole.  

 

        A new shocking turn has taken place in the Shania Twain divorce.  Shania's soon to be ex hubby, Mutt Lange, was apparently playing "crouching white boy hidden wiener" with his secretary.

     …Sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie Ann Thiébaud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland. “Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source. on. 

        And by "sources" we mean angry red neck relatives... they usually get their shit right. 

        Just a thought, but did she really expect a lot from a guy named "Mutt"?