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Apr. 16,  2008  

HASSELPANTS REJECTED!


 

         Gatecrasher is reporting that  David Hasselwhore is more than just "The Hoff".  He's the "Horny Hoff". 

        Hasseldick asked his assistant to give an autographed picture of the stud muffin to a delicious looking female member of the audience after a taping of America's Got Talent.  The picture also had his number, the name of the hotel that Hasselhoe was staying at and a message to stay in touch.

        The girl apparently went to a bar afterwards and laughed her ass off after showing her friends. 

        Come on playa, ain't nobody wants no Old Man luvin.  Grow old and die with some dignity. 

       

 

Apr. 28,  2008  

DIVORCED AND LOVIN IT

 

         David Hasselfoff (56) is divorced and getting his freak on.  Hasselcrotch partied at the Coachella STD extravaganza this weekend with girls that are younger than his shit stained boxers.

        In all fairness we don't know if he actually slept with any of these hoes, but still....being at a Indie music rave???? Come on Hasselpants stop tryin to bust a senile nut and act your age.  That "X" on the little white pills doesn't stand for eXlax.