Soccer stud David Beckham went to support his fellow Brit, Chef Gordon Ramsay... yeah that ass hole from Fox's Hell's Kitchen, and the opening of his new restaurant, The London West Hollywood on Wednesday night.

        Beckham must've got hit in the head with a soccer ball....after another look, maybe it was a bowling ball.  Brown shoes with black pants?  Pee Wee Herman's bow tie and I think my 4-yr old nephew wore that vest to nana's funeral.

 

       David Beckham's (33) new promotional ad for Emporio Armani will be facing Macy's in San Francisco.  Armani is apparently targeting the gay and senile demographic. 

        Either they shoved his dick in a Pita pocket or he's definitely got some stuffing going on.  I guess it could be worse though... It could be Perez Hilton in the same pose for Hot Topic.  Ha!  Let's see you finish your breakfast now.

 

       Soccer stud David Becks screwed over one of his youngest fans this weekend all in the name of charity.

        Jeanne Kelly, from New Jersey, donated $7,000 to a charity auction after being promised by Beck's people that her kid, Connor, would be able to meet the soccer legend himself and have a jersey autographed for the little guy. 

        It turns out Becks had a bigger charity to attend.. His wife's ad campaign for Marc Jacobs.  Mom and son were informed by Charity Sports Auctions that it was off. 

        "They're keeping us in the dark," said Kelly. "Conor is heartbroken. He said, 'Doesn't Beckham know it's my birthday present?' He is my son's hero."

        Beck's agent says he would never knowingly stand up a charity.  Awesome... and we would never knowingly stick our boot up Beck's bony helium-filled ass.

        All in all, it's really not Beck's fault... Kelly's kid should've known better than choosing an arrogant ass wipe as his hero.  Snoop Dog should be your new hero... he'll come to your house and show you how to roll your own blunts using expired coupons and potpourri... now there's a REAL hero.

 

        David Beckham (33) makes an appearance on Sesame Street to show kids what a real douche looks like.  You know Elmo's shit scared.  Becks queer ass forced the puppet dude to sit right between his legs and move Elmo's hand uuuup and dowwwwn.

        "Oh tickle me bitch, TICKLE MEEEE like the whore you are!"

        "OH YEAH"

  

        David Beckham (33) plays the popular British game "guess which side my penis is on?" at a soccer practice in L.A.. 

        If you haven't figured it out yet, it's a slow news day.