I know we already told you that Britney Spears is out and about gettin high in Costa Rica but here are some more pictures of her new and improved body. 

        How much did Bally's Total Fitness pay this bitch to be the new face of their campaign?  Well whatever it was...it was worth it, cus I feel like going to the gym just looking at her lard ass.

 

        Britney Spears, as reported earlier, is chillin down in Costa Rica.  After a ton of lipo suction and CRACK COCAINE Bally's work outs we thought she'd be a little thinner.

        It's rumored that the Brit's been offered  a multi-million dollar deal  from The Palms Hotel in Las Vegas to be a regular performer if she doesn't decide to pursue acting.

        Why exactly do we feel sorry for her again?

       

 

        New Britney pics from Costa Rica have arrived, oh joyous day! 

        Can you believe this is what she looks like AFTER lipo-suction???  No wonder she doesn't like her kids.

        There's a rumor going around that Brit has a new boy toy.  We don't know who the desperate gold-digging manwhore is yet, but gosh darn it..we're gonna find out.

        To see all the Brit bikini pics AND her new man CLICK HERE.

 

        Even my dog knew this one was coming.

        Pappo Adnan Ghalib is selling his memoirs of his times with Britney Spears. And by "memoirs" we mean sexcapade videos.    The National Enquirer reports that Ghalib filmed the two of them having sex in a $235/night hotel room in Mexico.  They said the tape isn't that kinky but it will probably be the biggest selling tape in the history of sex tapes.

        In the video Britney starts undressing and Adnan says in his sexiest Alkaida pappo voice, "Take it all off"

        And Britney replies, "Take what off?  There's nothing left to take off!"

        Sounds like the Beavis & Buttheads of all sex tapes.

 

       

 

        OK Magazine has Jamie Lynn Spears' first baby shower pictures with her big sister Brit Brit.  Hmmm... I wonder how much they paid for those.  You know they paid for them otherwise the pictures would be from an awkward downward "one leg in a tree branch" angle.

        Jamie Lynn told Ok Mag, “It was wonderful to be able to spend time with her and just be girls again. We painted our nails and did stupid stuff. To be able to be in the privacy of our own home and just be sisters again was wonderful.”

          Did stupid stuff?  Like get pregnant, smoke crack and play "Marco Polo with your panties??? Oh shit, you guys already did all that.  Huh... what's left?

 

         Britney Spears is being pimped out by CBS to boost  their ratings for their d-list sitcom, How I Met Your Mama.  CBS execs released this pic which is ALL OVER the net to get people to tune in to the show which airs on May 12. 

         We knew that people exploit Brits scandalous star power, but we're guessing that the ratings won't be as high as her last appearance on the show, since she is transforming herself into the "good girl".   If CBS was smart they'd dump Britney's ass and grab Miley from Disney's evil clutches and wrap her naked ass in a white bed sheet.

        The only question is, if Brit can only make money when she's naughty... will she try so hard to stay clean?

 

         Britney heads back to LA on her private jet after visiting her knocked up slut of a sister, Jamie Lynn, in Kentwood, Miss.  Jamie had her baby shower this weekend.  We hope Brit got her a butter churner and a set of wooden teeth for the baby's pa.

         Is it really the best idea to put Brit on a private jet?  The pilot's probably shit scared. 

         "I wanna fly da plane ya'll !" 

         "Sit back down you crazy bitch!"

        "I can do it ya'll, I can do it.... 'I believe I can fly'..."

       

 

 

        Ahhh celebrities and their tough summer schedules.  Here's Britney Spears at the Palms Resort in Las Vegas over the weekend working hard on her tan and closing a million dollar deal with the hotel owners. 

        We know Brit is still chubby and all, but that tight summer dress and stripper heals have "fuck me" written all over it.   Not for me though...I don't heard cattle... but for rednecks like Federline that's fine eatin.

 

        Britney Spears spent time with her kids this weekend.  We don't remember what their names are, but shit, if she doesn't have to remember then we don't. 

        The boys were playing in their toy car until Brit screamed, "Hey, it's my turn y'all!". 

        We don't want to say that Brit misses the attention she once had, but she did make her kids dress up like paparazzi and take pictures of her ass as she drove around her back yard looking for a Star Bucks.

 

        Just what the Spears family needed...another Prozac-prone, whiny girl.  Jamie Lynn Spear, as you probably already know, delivered her baby early this morning thru C-section.  And by C-section we mean Crazy section of the hospital

        Brit Brit was there to see her little sis give birth.  "Is it a boy or girl?....I can't tell!"....."That's the placenta you moron!"

        Ahh the miracle of birth....control pills....has failed us again.

        Congrats to the unwed bastard couple and good luck to that poor kid (Maddie Brian).

 

        Here's Britney doing an impression of Julia Roberts (nipples and all) after her appearance on Vanity Fair.  Julia stated in the issue which came out a while back that she would be happy to babysit Brit's wacko kids for the troubled pop star.

        Well here's your reply bitch. 

        You take care of Brit's kids and Brit will do your job of being a useless bitch on the cover of magazines.  Now that's funny.  Who knew she had it in her?  

        On a separate note... Vanity Fair has to be thrilled with all the negative publicity they're getting for the useless shit they put in their filth-ridden publication. 

       

        Here's Britney and daddy Spears attending Christian Audigier's 50th birthday bash in L.A. yesterday.  Britney is showing off her new Mel Gibson tan.  She was dressed in a sexy sleak black mini skirt while her dad wore something from his blue-collar comedy redneck closet.

        People.com reports that they were surprised that Brit didn't have any alcohol and only stayed for 90 minutes before calling it a night.  Wow...what a shocker.  When I go partying with my mom we usually hit after hours at the strip club.

       

        Britney's ex manager J.R. Rotham had this to say about her ex pupil:

“She’s like a master at what she does. She’s a lot more experienced than most people. She just has the ‘it’ factor that not every artist has. So it’s always nice to work with her.”

        Master of flab-ridden, crotch flashing train wrecks. 

        Stop kissing Brit's ass you peon... have some fucking dignity, will you.  If she's "a master" for acting like an idiot, than Sponge Bob Square Pants must be a fucking god.  Actually Brit kinda looks like Patrick..hmmm.

        All hail master Square Pants.