Avril Lavigne has announced that she is postponing her concert in San Diego tonight due to "sickness".  Oh no... where will those 5 people go now?

         The huge Canadian singer with the little girl's body was seen partying with "The Palms" owner George Maloof (above) at the Moonlight club in Las Vegas.  She was reportedly wasted.  Way to go hoe... Stay out of San Diego.  And that's San Diego, California...not San Diego, Canada... like your dumb ass might think when you sober up.

        Now we know A LOT of people hate Avril, but there has to be room for us... come on.

 

     

         Avril Lavigne has hit rock bottom.  Her promotional team has actually started GIVING AWAY her concert tickets for free. 

        Recently Avril Linguini didn't know what part of Canada that the city of Montreal was in.    That's what you get when drop out of high school at 16.

        But despite massive hatrid toward the pale whiner she still manages to put out horrible music videos.  Here's her latest, "The Best Damn Thing"....don't get us started on that title.

 

     Pale Canadian whore, Avril Lavigne smiles, against all odds, today after averaging the worst attendance in the history of mankind during her Buffalo, New York concert. 

     Allegedly there  were so few people in attendance they had to put a sign up so she wouldn't forget which side was the band.

     That's what you get for being a self-centered bitch.  Live and learn.   

        That's right... we're posting on the weekends now.  We got a lot of emails lately calling us lazy ass bastards.   And we just wanted ya'll to know that your words hurt and we hope you all burn in hell.

        Anyways, here's Avril Lavigne (22) and her Muppet husband Deryck Whibley leaving Koi restaurant in L.A. yesterday.  We'd like to know what the hell they are wearing that would make even the most retarded person want to go to Kohl's and buy her clothing line.  My cousin Cletus, on my mother's side, bought that whole outfit for 45 cents at the state fair.

        In other Avril news... She will be performing in Malaysia as scheduled.  It seems that the acid trip that Malaysian authorities were on came to an end, when they finally realized that calling Avril Lavigne "too sexy" to perform there was like calling Paris Hilton too intelligent to contract an STD. 

 

         Did you know that Avril Lavigne (23) holds the title of "The most watched YouTube video ever"?  It's true.  Her video, Girlfriend, holds the record.   The Canadian over achiever can't stop there though. 

        She has put out a NEW video that will soon shatter her previous record.  This one is entitled "Skank Whore" and shows Avril fucking some guy who doesn't appear to be her hubby... with her song, Don't Tell Me, playing in the background. 

        Now we know that no non-retarded man would ever lust after Avril Lavigne...EVER, but hey, awkward Canadian sex is like watching monkeys throw pooh.  It's fascinating, disgusting and funny all at the same time.

 

        Angry Lavigne is getting her own fragrance.  Awesome, I always wondered what adolescent meth coochie smelled like.  

        Angry signed with Procter & Gamble Prestige Products to produce a fragrance.  The bottled skank sweat is debuting fall 2009. 

 

        Avril Lavigne is on her way up again.  The once struggling musician has climbed out of the pits of shitiness & despair and into the limelight once again by winning the...........wait for it........ AG Hair Cosmetics 8th annual Best Canadian Hair Award.

        Wow, she's hit the big time.  If you missed the award show, maybe you don't have the Animal Planet network.  I think my dog won that award last year. 

        Hey no fair.  It's easier for Lavigne because she doesn't have pubic hair yet to worry about. 

        Up next for the Canadian singer is the 11th annual pale as the Canadian snow award.  She's a shoe in for 1st place.