We just did a John Mayer story so you knew a Pete Wentz story wasn't far behind.

        Newlyweds, Pete 'pansy' Wentz and Assless Simpson, go thru Airport security at LAX.  They had to check Assless' passport a couple times because she doesn't have the same nose, same hair, same teeth, same lips, skin tone or anorexic gut that she did when that passport picture was taken...last week.

         Assless is showing her first signs of a baby bump.  Of course that could just be gas and bloating from Pappa Joe sperm. 

       

 

        Here's Asslee Simpson not showing much of a baby bump (but then again maybe there is no baby bump, when you're carrying Pappa Joe's inbred mutant sperm), but she is displaying a very lovely pair of pregnancy chichis. 

        I love when celebutards try to pull off this look.  The "I'm not trying to be noticed even though my neckline is pulled down to my crotch" look. 

        You know Wentz is a happy camper.  The last time he saw titties that big was when Pappa Joe was giving him a drunken lap dance and hand job to Jessica Simpson's "Cum On Over" playing in the background at his bachelor party. 

        Good times.

 

        Impregnated monkey girl, Assless Simpson cancelled her tour this weekend because she sold like 4 tickets nationwide. 

        Assless is blaming the poor fetus... She posts on her MySpace blog:

        Hey! How about #4. My music sounds like shit and #5. I couldn't sell out a Wal-Mart Taco Bell during Cinco de Mayo.

              

        You know, this picture might be funny to you, but think about it... If you just married that skank Asshole Simpson, wouldn't you be hiding your face and be looking to get as much money out of it as possible too???

        Ok then!

        Pete "pansy" Wentz wore a paper plate on his ugly mug yesterday that had written on it, "Your Ad Here... Email Jon @Douch bag .com.    HEY!.. I know Jon... he doesn't even like skanks .......or paper plates.

        Douchebag . com is Pete's favorite porn site.  It's got pics of Wentz putting his tiny peepee in one of Simpson's mouth and it comes out of her ear.  Cool shit man.

 

       

        It's official... Pete 'pansy' Wentz and Asshole Simpson are the most annoying couple in Hollywood.  Spencer and Heidi... you're off the hook.

        PeeWee and Asshole announced that the skank is DEFINITELY pregnant on his website.  Wowy wow... who gives a rat's penis.  we knew the skank whore's been pregnant for 3 years now.  But still no baby bump.  That's because the malnourished Xanex fetus is probably only 10 grams.  It's just gonna fall out of her in a couple of months when she farts.  

        It'll give a whole new meaning to "Fall Out Boy".

 

        Assless Simpson and Pete Wentz return from the honeymoon that they claimed they were too busy to have.  Celebrities are such tools. 

        Mr. and Mrs. Assless arrived in New York City and were greeted by 3 pappos and falafel vendor...and that dude was only there because he thought Simpson's bag was a giant falafel.

        And what the fuck is Wentz wearing.  When did Gerber start making hoodies?

 

        The Assless Simpson and Pete "Panzy" Wentz wedding pictures are FINALLY here.  I have waited so long. 

        How come People Magazine never has a Divorce issue?  We wanna see see when these two yahoos start throwing dishes at each other and calling each other drunken Goth skanks.  How much for that issue?

        Atleast Tony Romo was a gentleman and escorted Jessica Simpson's lonely ass to her sisters wedding so she wouldn't look like a pathetic loser for Pappa Joe's million dollar pictures.  I wanna see the picture of Tony calling his new girlfriend during the wedding telling her, "I can't wait for this freak show to be over so I can fly back home and f*%k the holy hell out of you."