Amy Winehous

Apr. 24, 2008

WINO IS DANGEROUS

According to The Sun, Amy Wino head butted a 38-yr old man after the man tried to be a gentleman and call her a cab. In Wino's defense, after all the crack and extasy she's done, we can see how "taxi" could be mistaken for, "DIE YOU EVIL BITCH!"

After thrashing the poor dude Wino took her rage out on another man at a pool table that was in her way. She busted his lip and punched him in the eye. Boy, don't you EVER come between a British bitch and a pair of balls.

Reports say that Wino will be arrested and if convicted may face upto 6 months in jail. Ha, they don't know Wino could do 6 months sitting on her head. Although, if they think that bitch is crazy now, wait till she goes 6 months without coke.

Apr. 25, 2008

ONE MORE WINO OFF THE STREETS

Amy Wino sobbed like the diseased whore that she is as she was driven off to a London police station where she will be questioned and possibly booked for head-butting a man that was trying to hail her a cab.

Her rep said, “Amy Winehouse will be voluntarily attending a London police station today by appointment with the police. We understand that she will be questioned in connection with an alleged incident in Camden in the early hours of April 23 2008.”

And by "voluntary attending by appointment" she means getting her dumb ass off the street before the police sniper the crack-addicted whore. Personally, I'd like to see someone shoot this bitch in the head just to see the puff of white powder that would go *poof* in the air.

Apr. 26, 2008

RELEASE THE HOUNDS

Amy Winehouse was released from prison this morning and given an official warning after she head-butted a guy outside of a London bar.

The Wino won't be charged, but the warning will stay on her record and can be used against her if she acts like an idiot in public ever again. So basically tomorrow.

The good news is that all the prostitutes in the cell with her gave up hooking and drugs after seeing what that shit can do to you.

May. 6, 2008

SUN DAY BLOODY SUN DAY

Didn't your mamma ever tell ya that pale skin and a bloody stump are a fashion faux pa. Apparently the loony bin never told Amy Winehouse. And according to Wino's friend she doesn't give a rat's ass. The friend says:

“The sun makes people do crazy things. Walking around in your bra in your own garden when it’s hot out isn’t all that crazy. She doesn’t care about having her picture taken like that. She wouldn’t even think about that. It’s Amy being Amy – she doesn’t care what people think.”

The sun makes you do crazy things??? Yeah, so does the crack, the PCP, and snuff. Bitch, don't be blaming your fucked up problems on the sun... The sun will bring its hot ass to court on a box of Raison Bran cereal and kick your nappy haired crazy ass.

May. 10, 2008

TRAFFIC WHORE

Amy Winehouse waits in the streets of London for a car accident to be cleared from the road. She walked up the side of the road to get a better peak and then asked some dude for some cigs.

That's about the most interesting thing to happen in London in the last 20 years. Check back in 2028.

Jul. 7, 2008

HAIRY WINEHOUSE

Amy Winehouse (24) is celebrating American Independence showing off her nasty pubic hair in public as she was leaving her flat in London and heading off to the supermarket.

The dumb bitch knows the pappos are gonna be waiting outside and jump all over it. Atleast shave in an advertisement or something... "Eat at Joe's!"... and make some money out of it.

Jul. 24, 2008

THE BEST AMY WINEHOUSE HAS EVER LOOKED

Too bad it's a wax dummy. As opposed to the real dummy.

That's right, the famous Madame Tusseaud has immortalized Madame Crackhead (23) in her famous wax museum in London yesterday.

During yesterday's unveiling, patrons came from miles around and awed as they all said, "Look how life-like the cocaine looks".