Reese Weatherspoon-up-her-ass took part in  the American Idol "Gives Crap" event by taking a trip to a New Orleans shelter to be around poor black kids. 

        Is it just me or does anyone else find the whole, "white celebrities going to "Da Ghetto" to 'give back' annoying as all hell?  Hollywood has made black children the symbol of poverty and despair.  Using kids like this to "up" your career is not cool and is the main reason why most celebrities will BURN IN HELL. 

        Below is Celine Deon in Africa for the same event.  She's from Canada, so Hell would be a step up for her.    

    

  

       Gay Aiken says that he gets very insulted when people call him "gay".  .  .  .  and then he goes around looking like a flaming douche fag. 

        Here he is standing next to a bodacious pair of Spamalot Hooters, and he's not even taking a sneak peak. 

        Gay Bacon has hired a body guard to protect him from all the 12 year old girls that throw gum in his hair.  You know, no REAL man would hire a body guard... they'd carry a gun with them.  That's how you get your manhood back...pull a gay drive by in your volvo.       

          Brad Pitt showed up for the taping of American Idol's "Idol Gives Back".   Last year they got Bono and this year Brad Pitt...man, we need to start some kind of charity..."the Celebrity JackAss 'recycle road kill foundation"

        Pitt showed up to a standing ovation that lasted for 2 minutes straight and when it ended his mic wasn't working.  The female stage assistant helped him and said afterward, "I just needed an excuse to touch him."  and then, get this, another female assistant came on and "made sure" it was working properly.  Yeah, me and Brad get that problem a lot.

        Pitt went on to introduce former Idol loser, Daughtry.  All in all it was a magical night according to our hidden spy, Pepe the janitor.

        To see  all the "magical" pictures CLICK HERE.

 

        Everyone's favorite American Idol flamer, Danny Noriega, won't be coming to the American Idol final next week.  Why?  Cus he wasn't invited.  And he's pissed.

        Now normally we don't like whiny little girls, but damn, this kid has a right to be pissed. The producers told him that he can't come because they're full.... Full of shit! 

        He cracked the top 24 and he can't come to the finale.  That's low.  That's REALLY lowwwwww.

        And you thought we were ass holes.

 

        Fantasia showed up at American Idol last night, looking like a African Ronald McDonald tranny pimp.  Believe it or not, THAT was actually the most interesting thing to happen all night.

        Florida soul sister, Syesha Mercado got the boot leaving behind David 'Pubic Hair' Archuletta and David Cook.  Poor Syesha... with Florida voters....she never had a chance.

        American Idol took a dip in the ratings this year...Still beating every show ever made in the ratings, but not really beating the shit of them and pissing on their rotting bodies...like it did before. 

 

        Jason Castro, the druggy from Texas said goodbye to the beloved American Idol hoopla extravaganza.  Any stoner that messes up the lyrics to a Bob Marley song should be crucified and then shot and then drowned and then shot again.

        Look on the bright side all of you Castro fans...Chris Daughtry was eliminated 4th and he went on to superstardom.  Now Castro's not as likeable, smart, good looking and not nearly as talented as Daughtry... and he can't form a self-named band like Chris did because he's named after a hated, assassination-proned Cuban dictator, but he's got ugly ass fake dreads, and he can pass a joint with the best of em.

        Now if Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows would just drop dead Castro would have a job.     
 

          Heads are rolling this morning in the American Idol studios.  In case you missed it... During last nights show Paula Abdul read notes off of her cue card for critiquing round 1 and round 2 of the Idols' performances.  The problem is, they hadn't sung round 2 yet.

          What a fucking moron!

          Someone better fess up to slipping a mickey in Paula's Coke cup or people might start to actually realize that the show is rigged.  They'll have Seacrud come up with some lame excuse tonight during the results show to explain the whole thing.  "Urrrr.. Paula was suffering from "dumb bitch" syndrome.  It affects over 1 American each year." 

 

         Ain't life funny?

        Last week American Idol's David Cook was singing Mariah Carey, and this week Cook's pissing on her album. 

        The rocker's 2006 album, Analog Heart is burning up the charts.  It was the number one selling album being downloaded on Amazon.com beating out Mariah's new LP, E = BS squared.

         I guess being a ringer on American Idol really does have its perks.  Maybe they'll let Mariah audition next season.  "Yes, and who do people say you most sound like?"